I heard today, for the last time, that I should turn in my Man Card. So I am officially handing in my Man Card.
Due we really need those now anyway? Honestly, are we in the medieval times here? Besides, according to the latest Chinese place mat I saw, its the year of the Metro Sexual, right?
So I like Citrus Vodka Martinis and the occasional spritzer, so what! My wife Kim drinks Bud, nobody is calling her a dude. So I'd Rather talk with the ladies at the party about the latest fashion or how that dish was made, so what! Kim is out playing horseshoes, nobody is calling her a dude. So I stay home and take care of the kids during every Raven's home game, that I do watch, so what! Kim is at the stadium for every home game, with Bud in hand, nobody is calling her a dude.
I guess what I'm trying to say is; Can I get a Photo I.D. on that card please!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Carnage Row
Does anyone else do strange things when approaching, and or driving over, dead animals? I have this thing I do, I stop my breathing. I do this so no death vapors or mystical dust can get in. Some people cross fingers or lift their feet but I choose to stop taking in oxygen.
Usually when I'm past the carcass I'll continue to blow out a few more time, without an inhale of course, just as a precautionary measure. Sometimes I even picture myself from the passenger seat and think- “are you out of your mind?”
I’m writing about this because lately on my drive to and from work I've seen a lot more of dead animals in the road. It used to be the occasional deer in the fall or maybe a raccoon. Lately it’s been many different things, some strange. There have been turtles, possum, a dog, snakes, a grizzly bear, two or three hyenas, one yeti, a wolf, a half a dozen sea otters, and one abnormally large bird. There was even one heap that resembled that of a Medicine man. Should I be concerned?
I have to say that I take many things as signs on my road of life and to those who know me it’s been no secret that I’m very unhappy in my career. So I have to wonder- “What am I being told here?”
I've driven this way for eleven years now and it’s never been this bad, nor have I. I have to say that not being able to take a breath, every time I see a dead animal, it won’t take many more kills before I'm laying along side these creatures, dead from auto asphyxiation.
Are they signs? Am I being warned that if I don’t make a career move I could end up like these creatures? I'm not a religious man but I do believe in warnings. I am however an adventurous fellow but slaloming death heaps and self induced suffocation are not high up on my outdoorsy to do list.
Did I mention what that the large bird, who was right on the yellow line for about a week in half or so, what he would do as I approached? He would raise his wing up high as if signaling me. Now one would assume it was the air from my moving vehicle, that hadn't quite gotten to him yet. Isn’t that strange?
I have to say, the more I think about, It kind of looked like a feathery crossing guard telling me to- “GO NO FURTHER” and to “FIND A DIFFERENT PATH” and to MAKE NECESSARY CHANGES IN LIFE” and to “FIND ALL POSSIBLE ENJOYMENT” and to “BREATHE DAMN IT, BREATHE”!
Dead animals can say a lot if you listen
Usually when I'm past the carcass I'll continue to blow out a few more time, without an inhale of course, just as a precautionary measure. Sometimes I even picture myself from the passenger seat and think- “are you out of your mind?”
I’m writing about this because lately on my drive to and from work I've seen a lot more of dead animals in the road. It used to be the occasional deer in the fall or maybe a raccoon. Lately it’s been many different things, some strange. There have been turtles, possum, a dog, snakes, a grizzly bear, two or three hyenas, one yeti, a wolf, a half a dozen sea otters, and one abnormally large bird. There was even one heap that resembled that of a Medicine man. Should I be concerned?
I have to say that I take many things as signs on my road of life and to those who know me it’s been no secret that I’m very unhappy in my career. So I have to wonder- “What am I being told here?”
I've driven this way for eleven years now and it’s never been this bad, nor have I. I have to say that not being able to take a breath, every time I see a dead animal, it won’t take many more kills before I'm laying along side these creatures, dead from auto asphyxiation.
Are they signs? Am I being warned that if I don’t make a career move I could end up like these creatures? I'm not a religious man but I do believe in warnings. I am however an adventurous fellow but slaloming death heaps and self induced suffocation are not high up on my outdoorsy to do list.
Did I mention what that the large bird, who was right on the yellow line for about a week in half or so, what he would do as I approached? He would raise his wing up high as if signaling me. Now one would assume it was the air from my moving vehicle, that hadn't quite gotten to him yet. Isn’t that strange?
I have to say, the more I think about, It kind of looked like a feathery crossing guard telling me to- “GO NO FURTHER” and to “FIND A DIFFERENT PATH” and to MAKE NECESSARY CHANGES IN LIFE” and to “FIND ALL POSSIBLE ENJOYMENT” and to “BREATHE DAMN IT, BREATHE”!
Dead animals can say a lot if you listen
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Intro to me
This is my first attempt at blogging so bare with me. Will people really care what I have to say? I don't know. I think I care. Well, here it is:
I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. At 37 I figure I still have a few good window shopping years left though, right? Yesterday I wanted to join the state troopers, day before that I wanted to council your children and maybe even you. Shoot, I've recently been a photographer, writer, actor, comedian, director, movie critic and even a network administrator.
Funny how none of those offered me the benefits package I need to survive. (Releasing tongue from cheek now). YOU HAVE THE JOB I WANT, DAMN IT! So do you and you and you and you!
What the hell went wrong? In the nineth grade I knew I was going to be the best pitcher that ever lived. In the 10th grade (still pitching) the ever popular Yosemite Park Ranger gig threw off an aura of clear red (That's powerful,energetic and passionate, for you non gypsies).
WAKE UP! Clear eyes and wipe drool! Yep, I'm stuck! Stuck in a job I hate but a life that I love. Hopefully not for too long though because I can hear the cogs a spinnin', smell the dust a stirrin' and I can feel the reverberance of the cerebral machine waking up.
Look out!
I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. At 37 I figure I still have a few good window shopping years left though, right? Yesterday I wanted to join the state troopers, day before that I wanted to council your children and maybe even you. Shoot, I've recently been a photographer, writer, actor, comedian, director, movie critic and even a network administrator.
Funny how none of those offered me the benefits package I need to survive. (Releasing tongue from cheek now). YOU HAVE THE JOB I WANT, DAMN IT! So do you and you and you and you!
What the hell went wrong? In the nineth grade I knew I was going to be the best pitcher that ever lived. In the 10th grade (still pitching) the ever popular Yosemite Park Ranger gig threw off an aura of clear red (That's powerful,energetic and passionate, for you non gypsies).
WAKE UP! Clear eyes and wipe drool! Yep, I'm stuck! Stuck in a job I hate but a life that I love. Hopefully not for too long though because I can hear the cogs a spinnin', smell the dust a stirrin' and I can feel the reverberance of the cerebral machine waking up.
Look out!
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